Train Wreck!

A little background information to help make this story make more sense.  Joel is strong willed, he doesn't sit still unless Cars or Up is on, he likes routine and at church he goes to the nursery 99% of the time.  Really the only time he isn't in the nursery during church is when the Sunday School kids are singing in church or the puppeteers are doing a show for everyone.  Even on those occasions he is only in church for 10 minutes.  Vince was the same way and now can sit in church for 30 min or so if we need him to. 

Miss Cecilia all dressed up and ready to be baptized.

The couple seconds Joel was being still.  Still holding his Bible.

On Sunday Cecilia was baptized and leading up to the baptism Brad and I had discussed what we were going to do about the boys during the baptism.  When Joel was baptized Brad and I took turns holding Joel and Vince.  There are several pictures of me struggling to hold Vince and keep him from running away.  We had decided this time around that if someone was signed up to be in the nursery then we would just send Joel to the nursery.  No one was signed up this week so Joel stayed in church with us.  The baptism was supposed to be in the first 10 minutes so we didn't think it would be that bad.

Aunt Laurie introducing Cecilia and Joel reaching for a candle.

When we got to church we were 10 minutes early because of the baptism instead of walking in two minutes before church starts like we normally do.  We were greeted by our families and as we were getting every thing situated Joel was in the fellowship hall with Papa Razzi and some of the aunts.  I assumed they were watching him.  I walked into the fellowship hall to get Joel and he was not there!  After a quick search around the church for our missing child and we found him in the sanctuary.  We all headed up front which was awkward because we normally sit way in the back in case we need an easy exit with the kids.  It just make me feel better not disrupting the whole congregation.

Not sure what Vince is doing.  I think he had picked Cecilia's bracelet up off the floor.

During the announcements Cecilia was awake and happy (usually she sleeps during church).  I was excited about that and figured it was a good sign.  Joel was fussing and wanting to run away so we gave him Aunt Alyse's cell phone.  That worked for about 5 minutes.  Then he saw the hymnals and bibles in the pew and got really excited, grabbed one and started to read.  Until Alyse made eye contact and he proceeded to chuck her phone a couple times and the pencils that he found in the pew.  At this point Cecilia was with Brad, Vince was up front with the aunts and grandparents and Joel was on my lap.  As soon as it got quiet Joel decided to start howling like a wolf, which he does really well.  I put my finger up to my lips to signal for him to be quiet and he just started laughing and continued to howl.

Brad trying to comfort Cecilia.

We sang a song not much longer after the howling and during the song Vince stood on the pew up front with his hands over his ears.  Apparently it was too loud for him.

Joel getting unruly and wanting down.

Joel being still for another few seconds.

Our pastor, Patrick, recognized that Joel was more than ready for the baptism and we all went up front to get started.  Joel was no longer wearing shoes because he kicked them off earlier, but at this point I didn't care.  About the time we went up in front of the whole congregation (and the church was uncharacteristically full) Cecilia started fussing but Brad seemed to be handling it ok.  Not totally, but she wasn't crying that loud at that point and if we switch kids Joel was going to start screaming "Mommy" really loud.  Vince stood by us (sort of) and I held Joel.  While I held him, the program and attempted to read along and respond at the appropriate time Joel was dropping his bible he insisted on bringing up front (a very loud thud!), poking at my nose, grabbing my face and trying to bite it and reaching for the candle on the table.  Patrick had to pause once so Brad and I could respond to one of the questions.

Joel bouncing up and down on my arm.

Cecilia Crying, Joel about to drop the Bible and Vince checking out the crowd.

Cecilia continued to cry.  Brad was getting flustered.  Alyse ran up by us and held Brad's program so he could follow along.  Vince was standing up front, lifting his shirt, picking up the bracelet that fell off Cecilia's wrist, pacing back and forth, etc.  Alyse went back down to sit in the pew.  Joel was getting more unruly and I put him down.  I was figured he would run right down the steps and either go to his aunts or straight to the nursery.  Either way he would be fine!  Then I could grab Cecilia and hopefully quiet her down.

Aunt Alyse to Brad's rescue.  Joel poking my nose and saying "beep" while I try to read along and respond to the questions.

Brad and Cecilia happy!

Joel had other plans.  He stayed up front with us and walked behind us.  I still had hope that he was just circling the table and then going to head down to our families or the nursery.  The whole time I was just watching Joel out of the corner of my eye because we were still in the process of baptizing Cecilia and I needed to pay attention.

Reading...I was saving the other candelabra

Trying to figure out what I was supposed to be reading.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a flickering and moving light.  Joel was standing behind me shaking the candelabra back and forth.  I grabbed the candelabra with one hand and continued to focus on the baptism.  About the time I did that Emily, a friend, and Alyse came flying up front.  Emily was also ready to grab the candles and Alyse grabbed Joel.  Some of my younger sisters escorted him down to the nursery.  At this point I walked over to where Brad was standing.  We were saying the Nicene Creed, but the bulletin had said Apostle's and Brad was holding the hymnal and I had no idea where I should be reading from because it wasn't the Apostle's creed.  I just stood up there and pretended to read along. 

Where's Joel?

Still up front making sure he leaves with his Bible

Why is Vince showing off his belly?  I have no idea.  Joel still not quite sure he wants to leave

I am guessing this is when Aunt Alyse came up and got Joel.  Vince probably found it funny.  I was completely unaware of what Vince was doing.

It looks like a normal baptism here.

Then it came time for the actual baptism.  Vince was still up front and being pretty good but at this point as long as he wasn't trying to set the church on fire he would have looked like an angel.  I had taken Cecilia from Brad hoping I could calm her down but she was still crying!  Patrick baptized her and since she was still crying he decided not to carry her around the church like he usually does during baptisms.  We just went by our families and did a laying of hands and a prayer.  We all sat down and Alyse whispers to me "Well, that couldn't have gone any worse."  I said "Well, only if the church started on fire."  I never thought that Joel would actually be happy or stay still during the whole baptism, but I never thought he would almost start the church on fire.  A second later Vince walks up to us and says to Cecilia "Don't cry Cecilia I will be right back I am just going to Sunday School."  He had Aunt Alyse walk him down.  I half forgot that Vince was still up in church with all the other commotion.

Patrick asking Vince to help him.

Trying to get Cecilia to stop crying

Cecilia was really happy!

The baptism!

Almost done!

As we sat in the pew Cecilia continued to cry, which really isn't like her to cry so much she is a very happy baby.  She had been wearing a necklace Grandma Pat and Papa had given her and it was all caught in the folds of her neck.  I removed it and the crying subsided.  Well for a few minutes until she realized she was hungry.  At that point I just got up and left the sanctuary.  Clearly we had caused enough disruption in the last 20-30 min and leaving was my only option at this point!  Cecilia and I went down and joined Joel in the nursery where he was happy and playing with all the toys and his aunts.

Baptism officially over and Vince telling Brad that "Uncle John is here!"

According to my friend, who witnessed this whole train wreck, I kept my cool and didn't appear to be phased by any of it.  I know she was telling me the truth because she would have been the first one to give me a hard time about it.  I wish someone would have got it on video.  We could have made some money and entertained more than just the innocent people who happened to be at church that day.