Tuesday night...is this a joke?

Tuesday night we have Awana Club.  In order to be there on time we have to leave the house by 6 pm.  Leaving on time is a struggle for us, especially around dinner time.  At 5pm I started boiling water for pasta.  I went to the bathroom and Joel came with and played in the sink.  I have learned that as a mom of small children you rarely get to use the bathroom alone.  In this case I didn't mind because I would rather Joel play in the sink than climb on the stove while it was hot.  When I went back to making dinner Vince ended up in the bathroom and started playing in the sink with Joel.  Vince knows how to close the drain and that makes it more fun for Joel and Vince.  I should have been checking on the boys more closely, but the noodles were boiling over and I was just happy to have them out of the way.  When the noodles and sauce were ready I realized that the boys had basically flooded our bathroom.  The boys, the floor, the tiles on the wall, the stool and chair they were standing on were all drenched!  At this point it was 5:20pm.  We had only 40 min to get out of the house but I was still hopeful because I already had everything else in the car.  I took all of Vince's clothes off him and had him eat dinner in a bib and with a towel on his lap.  I would dress him after he ate the pasta and sauce.  He was happy!  I left Joel's onesie on him and put him in the highchair.  I cleaned the bathroom (it took 2 large beach towels and a hand towel to dry everything) while they ate. 

At 5:45pm Vince was done and ready to get dressed.  I wiped his face, hair and hands clean and gave him his clothes and told him to get dressed.  I went to grab Joel out of the highchair when I realized we had a problem.  There was very liquidy poop leaking out of his diaper into his highchair and his face and hands were covered in sauce.  The sink was full of dishes so I couldn't give him a quick bath and there was no way we would make it to the bathtub without leaving a trail behind us.  I took off his soaking wet onesie and the poor kid was covered in poop and sauce from head to toe.  It was awful!!  As I was squealing from disqust I realized we had another problem.  My wonderful dog Maisy was trying to eat the noodles out of the highchair and was getting way to close to the poop.  I kept yelling at her, but I couldn't do anything about it without putting Joel down. The thought of her cleaning up Joel's poop was enough to make me want to vomit.  Luckily when I told her to kennel she listened!

While I was using 1/3 of a package of wipes to clean him up Vince was running around the house half naked thinking he was funny by putting his clothes on the wrong way.  While pants on the head and a shirt on your legs is hiliarious, it is less hilarious when we need to leave to go somewhere and I am in the middle of cleaning up a poop explosion on a crying squirmy kid.  The whole time I was cleaning Joel Vince was in his own little world trying to get dressed.  I wasn't even sure he knew what had happened.  Vince proved me wrong when we walked into Awana (on time!) and the first thing he told his teacher was "My brother pooped all over the house.  He had a poop -splosion."  After this hour of craziness I was convinced there had to be a hidden camera in my house and it was all just a bad joke or at least we could win some money on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Getting two kids fed and out of the house in 1 hour isn't so bad.  The boys flooding the bathroom not really a big deal.  A poop explosion not the end of the world.  All three happening in 1 hour was borderline insanity!  We all made it out in 1 piece and I have a funny memory to show for it, but I am not interested in a repeat anytime soon.